There is something about myself that I've been hiding for a very long time. Something that others might find shocking or offensive and in hiding that I've allowed myself to be the very sort of narrow-minded person I hate.
So I have to be completely open and honest with myself and you. I am a beef burrito. I have always been one. I was born a beef burrito. Deep down I know that's what I am and my physical appearance is nothing but a hindrance to that. I plan on raising the money for the necessary surgeries to transform this useless human body into that of a beautiful beef burrito and then everything in my life will be better.
Don't tell me that I'm not a beef burrito or that my insistence that I am such is a lie or the sign of madness because that is prejudice, bigotry, and some other term that I'll get CNN to make up for me so I can rub it in your face at every given opportunity. Also, check your privilege. You don't know how difficult it is to be a beef burrito, so you don't understand.