Name: Matthew K. Garner. The "K" stands for "Kill you if you ask what the 'K' stands for."
Age: Old enough to know better.
Occupation: Toastmaster General.
Residence: In that old shoebox under your bed.
Likes: Cartoons, comic books, video games, making people laugh.
Dislikes: Ignorance, injustice, Homestuck
Skills: Voice imitation, razor sharp wit, laser eye beams
Weaknesses: Hemophobia, manic-depression
Quote: "Question the Majority!"